1) 'Fag dumpers'. My blood nearly boils when I see drivers throw their unfinished, cindering cigarettes out of the car window and onto the road. One day, when I've truly got nothing left to live for, I will get out of my car, pick up the cigarette, follow the offender, encourage them to wind down their window and attempt to shove it up their nose. Disgraceful behaviour (them, obviously).
2) Headlight warning beep. I make no apologies for hating the fag dumpers, however I know the headlight warning beep is actually intended to help me and I shouldn't actually hate it. But that doesn't change things. When I arrive at work, turn off the engine, pull out the key and open the door that high pitched little tune that tells me the lights are still on DRIVES ME MAD! It's effective and I've never returned to a flat battery. But would I find a flat battery less annoying? I'll report back if I ever know the answer.
3) Alarm clock. I just can't win on this one. On my iPhone 4s I first went for a soft alarm option called 'Waves'. This really grated my cheese after a while. Why try and make me believe I'm waking up in the late morning on holiday with the sound of a light breeze coming through open windows from the sea and a 5* chef making me pancakes in the kitchen? That's not what I'm doing. I'm snuggling in for dear life under my high tog duvet trying not to die of hypothermia due to questionable central heating in southern Britain and desperately wishing it was Saturday. Let's not try to make this morning situation something it isn't. Now I've done a U turn and have the blaring 'Classic Alarm' option which makes me feel as though I'm living in Orange is the New Black every morning. I'm not sure whether beach life or prison is closer to the truth. Some days I feel like showing my phone some physical violence.
I wondered if this post is a bit too grumpy but then I realised I can only actually think of three things to include. But don't worry, I'm not going to click 'publish' and then try to move on and get happy. I'll continue to try and identify the other things that really burn my bacon over the next few weeks and report back. Peace and love to one and all xoxo
A few days later...I knew the alarm clock wouldn't be the last of it!
4) 1000%. X Factor is to blame for this one. Don't the judges realise that they are mid-educating school children everywhere and infuriating Maths teachers by using the phrase "1000%"! "People at home should 1000% vote for you"...."You were 1000% better than last week". As far as I'm aware you can't get mathematically more then 100%. And I've got a grade A in GCSE maths so there!
